Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Evanston: pale horse, pale rider



I had hoped to make this journal a virus free zone, but the pandemic is too much a part of our lives, even though my life has not seriously been affected and I do not know anyone who has the virus.

The lovely scene of nautical social distancing was taken I believe this morning by Steve Earley from SPARTINA near Oriental, North Carolina, on his spring cruise.  The Drascombe belongs to his friend, Curt.  You can follow Steve and SPARTINA’s track at:




I just finished rereading Katherine Anne Porter’s PALE HORSE, PALE RIDER, a collection of three short novels first published in 1939.  All three are good.  The last, which gives its name to the collection, is a masterpiece as proven by my remembering it in detail for more than a half century between readings.

The story, Pale Horse, Pale Rider, is set in 1918, encompassing the end of WWI and the Influenza pandemic.  I am not going to tell you more.  You can buy the Kindle edition for $9.99.  You can also find used paper editions.  Some for a reasonable price.  One on Amazon for the far from reasonable $1,012.90.  That is not a misprint.  The story is one for the ages and very much one for this age.

It caused me to be curious about the numbers of that pandemic.  From Wikipedia:

In the U.S., about 28% of the population of 105 million became infected, and 500,000 to 850,000 died (0.48 to 0.81 percent of the population)

An estimate from 1991 states that the virus killed between 25 and 39 million people (world wide).  A 2005 estimate put the death toll at 50 million (about 3% of the global population), and possibly as high as 100 million (more than 5%).  However, a reassessment in 2018 estimated the total to be about 17 million, though this has been contested.  With a world population of 1.8 to 1.9 billion, these estimates correspond to between 1 and 6 percent of the population.

I did the math about our current pandemic.  

As of this morning the NY TIMES reports 1,300,000+ cases of Covid 19 and 82,476 deaths in the US; 4,200,000+ cases and 292,067 deaths in the world.  That is a lot of dead people and the numbers are doubtlessly lower than the true total and going to get higher.  However the current population of the the US is around 330,000,000 and the world is about 7.8 billion and the number of deaths in the US so far represent less than 0.03 percent of the population.  In the world far less than 0.01 percent.

If my math is wrong, please correct me.



PALE HORSE, PALE RIDER brought to mind Albert Ryder’s famous painting, variously known as ‘The Race Track’ or ‘Death On a Pale Horse’.  


Ryder also painted many eerie seascapes.  This one reminds me of CHIDIOCK TICHBORNE adrift.





And last, under the heading, Wretched Excess, an ad I saw for a new 45’ catamaran with all of the comforts of home for those who really don’t want to be anywhere near the water. Imagine being on that sofa during a gale.  Imagine being on that boat during a gale.  No.  I can’t










Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Evanston: an apology; underway in the South Pacific; in charge



I thank Roger, who first brought to my attention that the story of the JATO powered car is not true, and an anonymous reader who left a comment to that effect.  Roger also provided this link:

I had gone to the Darwin Awards site and not finding the story assumed that it was from a distant previous year.  Here is a link to the Darwin’s Award site.


Another anonymous reader commented ‘Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.’  As I responded I do not agree.  I like good stories, but they should be labeled as such and not masquerade as truth.  There is far more than enough falsehood on the Internet, unintentional and intentional.  I deeply regret having contributed in circulating a little more and I apologize.  I dislike exaggeration and have always preferred understatement to hyperbole even though hyperbole has become the norm.  I will be more careful in the future.



Above is a screen shot taken this morning of the Marine Traffic site.


Pleasure craft are purple and you will note that there are not many.  Of course not all pleasure craft carry an identifying transponder, GANNET among them.

There are still a few boats at sea between Panama and the Marquesas.  A modest stream is sailing from the Marquesas to Papeete, Tahiti, located near the center of the screen.  One all alone on the lower right hand side may be at or near Easter Island.  In the upper left are several in the vicinity of Guam.  A boat near Sydney, Australia, might be heading toward Lord Howe Island, and another north in the Coral Sea seems to be sailing for Townsville or Cairns.  I wonder what its welcome will be.




After I posted last week, ‘Sometimes I doubt I am really in charge’, a friend asked, “Then who is?”  As far as I can tell, a chance concatenation of recessive genes.














Sunday, May 10, 2020

Evanston: Darwin Awards; First Convoy; grow up; wind

The story of the manicurist and the alligator reminded Ron of the Darwin Awards.  It did me too.  I thank him for the following summary of recent awards.  The problem is, of course, that some of these people reproduce early.



The  DARWIN Awards

It's with great pleasure that I announce...it's that time again. The Darwin Awards are out! These Annual Honors are given to the persons who did the human gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

You may recall that last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.

This year's winner was a genuine Rocket Scientist...no jive! Read on...and remember that each and every one of these is a true story. The nominees were:

Semifinalist #1

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both he and his sister.

Semifinalist #2

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

Semifinalist #3

A 22-year-old Reston , VA man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the concrete," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."

Semifinalist #4

A man in Alabama died from numerous rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized, but lived.

Semifinalist #5

Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter
was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''especially bright'' by his peers.

And now the winner of this year's Darwin Award; as always, awarded posthumously;

THE 2011 WINNER!
Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.

Police investigators finally pieced together
 the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off...actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.

The driver, and soon-to-be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driverM applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

Really.....we couldn't make this stuff up. People like these are all around us. They have kids and they vote...but after these stunts they will only vote in Chicago..!!!



Mark seeks wonder in everyday aspects of life which we take for granted.  Recently in writing about our national highway system he brought to my attention the first military convoy to cross the United States, for which I thank him.  This was in 1919, one of the years of the Influenza Epidemic, and a then Lieutenant Colonel Dwight Eisenhower took part.  The convoy took fifty-six travel days to cover 3,250 miles from Washington, D.C. to Oakland, California at an average speed of 5.65 mph.  That is 4.9 knots.  GANNET speed.  Along the way they were masters of repair and improvisation, strengthening bridges, replacing burned out pistons, welding cracked frames.  From Chicago west the roads were mostly dirt.  Just over 100 years ago. 

You can read more at:








From the continued fascinating THE SPLENDID AND THE VILE.

The (night bombing) raids generated a paradox.  The odds that any one person would die on any one night were slim, but the odds that someone somewhere in London would die were 100 percent.  Safety was a product of luck alone.  One young boy, asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, a fireman or pilot or such, answered:

“Alive.”

And.

Lloyd George declined the offer (to be Ambassador to the U.S.), citing his doctor’s concerns about his health.  He was, after all, seventy-seven years old. 



I have been ambivalent about replacing GANNET’s wind instrument.  I like the information and at times find it useful.  I don’t even blame Raymarine for the failures following GANNET’s masthead going into the water after knockdowns which is beyond reasonable expectation.

This morning I may have found a solution.  A new instrument by a company called OoenWind that pairs with a smartphone and costs half of alternatives.  I tried to order one, but MauriPro’s online order form is not functioning properly.  I will call them tomorrow.































Friday, May 8, 2020

Evanston: V-E Day; the strongest wind; brown; a tragedy; a record; a plan



Although you will have to search some you may be able to find that seventy-five years ago was truly momentous and far more significant than anything happening today.  Germany surrendered.  The Second World War was over in Europe.

Here is a link to photos of celebrations from the NY TIMES.



And here a link to photos of the fall of Berlin from BBC News.



I happen to be reading Eric Larson’s fascinating THE SPLENDID AND THE VILE about Winston Churchill’s first year as Prime Minister from May 10, 1940, the day Germany invaded The Netherlands and Belgium.  This was the year of Dunkirk, the Blitz, and the very real fear that Germany would invade the British Isles.  I am not an unequivocal admirer of Winston Churchill, who was often stubbornly wrongheaded which resulted in the deaths of thousands as at Gallipoli in the First World War.  As an aside, that we have had two ‘World Wars’ should cause some pause about our sanity as a species.  However, to return to Winston, he clearly was the right leader at the time, both by word and indomitable example.


I have received requests for more information about the strongest wind I have ever experienced.  I do not know its precise strength.  I can compare it to the wind in Cyclone Colin in the Tasman, which according to the NZ Meteorological Service had 70 knot winds when it passed over EGREGIOUS a month later.  I believe the wind off Australia was at least 20-30 knots greater than that.  Maybe more.  I have no other basis for comparison.

From STORM PASSAGE:

February 13, 1976
BETWEEN when I bailed at 2:00 a.m. and when I bailed at 4:30 a.m., the barometer which I had hoped and expected to rise, began a steep decline—a decline which carried it into virgin territory far below any previous reading in my experience. This was to be a day, though, far beyond my previous experience. With that precipitous drop, still there came no increase in wind. Egregious continued boisterously but safely east, while I searched the dawn sky in vain for signs of the apocalypse. I returned to my berth but did not undress or try to sleep.
Every half hour I got up. The barometer quickened its downward acceleration; Egregious continued her fine sail; I continued to be ever more anxious. Something incredible and probably terrible was happening, but the only warning was the barometer.
There was no point in lying down any longer. I donned my foul-weather gear and stood in the galley, drinking coffee and looking out at the sea and waiting. When at 7:30 A.M. conditions began to change, they changed rapidly. Within a few minutes, the wind increased to 40 knots, and I replaced the jib with the storm jib. A few more minutes, and I lowered the storm jib. And then the wind went off the scale.
Just before it struck, I finished tying myself in the cockpit. At one moment, everything was under control, Egregious moving safely along at 5 knots under bare poles; then the tiller was wrenched unexpectedly from my hands and slammed over against the starboard cockpit seat. I remember being glad I had lowered the storm jib in time. No sail could have stood to such a blast. Egregious careened to port, broadside to a wind far beyond any I had imagined, a wind that leveled everything before it, a wind that pressed us down into the sea until I began to think we would be forced under.
There were no great waves. That wind flattened the sea. Using all my strength, I fought Egregious’s bow back on course: 9 to 10 knots under bare poles. Not surfing, just being inexorably forced ahead of the wind. It was like sailing through fog. I could not see the compass 2 feet before my eyes. Yet there was no fog. The wind had torn the surface from the sea and flailed it about my eyes. I had to breathe cautiously, trying to inhale more air than salt water. I would like to believe I am inner-directed, but I thought, “This is too much, simply too much. It is too bad no one will know I got this far, that I rounded the Horn before I was killed.”
When it struck, I did not know how long it would last, but I knew that I was at the tiller for the duration. This was the time to steer beyond exhaustion; there could be no other choice. But fortunately that prodigious wind passed within an hour, leaving us to lie ahull gratefully to a 50 to 60 knot gale, which by comparison is a relief.
For the superstitious, today is Friday the thirteenth.


I think of New Zealand as green and gray.  The gray—cliffs falling into the sea.  The green—the hills:  emerald, olive, forest, sea, lime, and, as I wrote as I sailed from Opua to begin my fifth circumnavigation, more shades for which I don’t have names.  So, this morning I was surprised and distressed to find on the NASA Earth Observatory site that New Zealand is experiencing a severe drought and turning brown.


I hope the rains return.  Of all places, New Zealand and Ireland should be green.


You may have read of a tragedy in South Carolina a few days ago.

A woman manicurist made a home visit to give a manicure to one of her regular clients, while doing so on a porch the manicurist noticed an alligator in a nearby pond.  Upon leaving the house, she walked down toward the alligator, despite her client yelling that an alligator had taken a deer at that spot a week earlier.  The woman replied, “I don’t look like a deer” and reached down to touch the alligator, who grabbed her by the leg and dragged her into the water where she drowned.  Her last words were, “I guess I won’t do this again.”  Authorities soon arrived, recovered her body, and killed the alligator.  That is the tragedy.


A new record this morning:  I did the stairs in 42 seconds.  I really didn’t think I could improve on 43.5.  I also went to 100 push-ups on my last workout.  I could not do 100 last year.  It is becoming routine.


I have twice made five year plans to escape the land, and they both worked.  This is in decided contrast with the prevailing attitude echoed unashamedly even in television commercials:  ‘I want it all.  And I want it now.’  While writing to a friend this morning I realized that without my intention, a five year plan has evolved almost of its own volition within me.  I don’t even know that I want a five year plan, much less that I will carry it out.  Sometimes I doubt that I am really in charge.




Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Evanston: quiet; the virus; wind; slime




The above comes from Pat in Australia who adds that he hears of those who are ‘killing time’ until the pandemic is over.  Pat notes that to the contrary he is trying to find more time to get everything he wants to do done.

Under Great Minds Think Alike, which is not actually true, to be great is to think originally, some of you may recall that not long ago I wrote:  Stillness is unnatural and threatening to many.  Perhaps because they fear that if they have to sit quietly and look within they will find emptiness.

I read Pascal’s PENSEES long ago, but did not remember that quote.  I do remember another of his:  The heart has reasons that reason does not know.



I rarely am bored, but I have become bored with this virus and particularly with the public obsession with it.  I doubt I am the only one and this is going to be with us a long time.  Henceforth I will endeavor to write about it as seldom as possible.  There is more to life.  

As you know I do not watch television news or engage in social media.  I do skim the NY TIMES and BBC News and read an occasional piece.  Here is a link to a piece about the real numbers of Covid 19 deaths in each state:

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/05/05/us/coronavirus-death-toll-us.html?action=click&module=Spotlight&pgtype=Homepage

And here a link that Steve Earley brought to my attention to a rare amusing and probably accurate piece about the pandemic.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/03/opinion/dave-eggers-coronavirus-questions.html?searchResultPosition=1




Each morning I spin the Earth Wind Map to see where the highest wind is.

Today it is 52 knots south of Australia about where on EGREGIOUS forty-four years ago I was in the strongest wind I have ever experienced.  Well beyond the 75-80 knots I was in a few weeks later in Cyclone Colin in the Tasman.  Blowing for an hour or two perhaps twice as hard as it is there now.







Airlines are a necessary evil.  Like politicians, all are bad, but many are worse.  Frontier Airlines has just announced that it is going to charge passengers for social distancing.

https://fortune.com/2020/05/05/frontier-airline-social-distance-fee-seat/

This is major slime, particularly since the airlines are being bailed out with tens of billions of dollars after many spent tens of billions of dollars in the past few years buying back their own stock rather than keep cash on hand for an emergency as all individuals are advised to do.  I don’t recall that I have ever flown Frontier Airlines.  Though other airlines may follow suit, I will endeavor not to fly Frontier in the future.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Evanston: Quivira; empty; a great name; spring leaves



Those of you who have been here a while know that GANNET is docked at a marina in San Diego’s Mission Bay’s Quivira Basin.  I’ve been around the basin off and on for decades and wondered from time to time about the name.  Yesterday in a book, INDIANS OF THE PLAINS, I found out.  Quivira was a mythical city of gold sought by Fernando Vasquez de Coronado.  Allegedly located in present day Kansas, it did not exist and Coronado killed the guide who led him on that particular wild goose chase.  

As you can see from the above, Coronado never was near San Diego, but he and his men were the first Europeans to see the Grand Canyon, and someone sometime in San Diego knew of Quivira.





Chicago’s marinas normally open on May 1.  I thank Jimmy Grizzell for the above photo of Monroe Harbor in the heart of the city taken yesterday.  There should be 392 moorings dotting that water and the docks should be filled.  As you can see they aren’t and are not likely to be until June 1 at the earliest.  


Also from INDIANS OF THE PLAINS comes the great, if inscrutable name of an Oglala Sioux chief:  Old-Man-Afraid-of-His-Horses.




Yesterday continued warm and Carol and I had drinks on our balcony for the first time this year.  Also the last for a while.  Today is more than 30ºF cooler.  The buds I photographed a week or so ago covered with snow have become leaves.  The leaves do not know or care.  They simply are. 








Saturday, May 2, 2020

Evanston: open; twice around the tombstones

I received an email yesterday stating that Driscoll’s Mission Bay Marina where GANNET is docked has re-opened, although the boat yard remains closed, and that sailing on Mission Bay and San Diego Bay is again permitted so long as all those aboard a boat are from the same household.  I can do that.



An unbelievably nice day in the upper flatlands.  77ºF/25ºC.  

I pumped up the bicycle tires and we went for our first ride of the year, making two loops of Calvary Cemetery.  1.6 miles a loop.  Quite a few others were walking or biking there.  

This will not last.  By next Friday temperatures will again be in the 30s. 

Friday, May 1, 2020

Evanston: a good question; on marriage; Cavafy; a new record



In an email this morning my friend, Bill, wrote:  ‘I know this is a silly question, but if GANNET brings such discomfort, why not find a more comfortable boat to enjoy in your “old age”?’.   He did kindly add that he finds it hard to think of me as old.

I wrote back that there are no silly questions, except perhaps one that has just been answered and someone who has not been paying attention asks again.  Bill’s question is a good one that has caused me to think about my answer, which is multiple.

First, almost instinctively GANNET suits me.  She always has.  We are right for one another.  We bring out the best in one another.

Second, in my experience no boat is comfortable in severe weather; and there is a slight shift in my having written that GANNET brings discomfort as well as joy and ‘such discomfort’.  Certainly GANNET is more uncomfortable than my bigger boats, but it is only a matter of degree, and comfort is not my highest value.  I have always been willing to sacrifice comfort for sailing performance.  When I am too old to do that, I am too old.

Third, I don’t want to start over again setting up a boat to cross oceans.  That takes a long time and a lot of money.  I don’t want to spend my time that way.  GANNET is set up properly.  She needs only replacement of worn gear.

Fourth, another boat might be too easy.  That might sound odd.  But to be interested I need challenges whose outcomes are uncertain.  I did not know when I set out in EGREGIOUS if that voyage was possible in her.  I certainly did not know in CHIDIOCK TICHBORNE.  Or when GANNET and I sailed from San Diego in 2014.  I really am designed to explore edges and limits, and I am drawn by thoughts of a voyage in which GANNET and I can do that.  

Which comes back to the beginning:  we are right for one another.  To change would be wrong.




Being right for one another reminded me of something I wrote decades ago about marriage which I came across last week while looking for something else.


       No one can judge a marriage from the outside.
       We all do.  Societies.  Courts.  The intrusive ‘Media.’
       We judge the marriages of our friends.  Our neighbors.  Co-workers.  Casual     acquaintances.  Celebrities we don’t even know.
       And we are always wrong.
       Even when we’re right, we’re wrong, because our opinions are based on inadequate information.  Marriages are too complicated and too subtle.  They turn over the years on words said and unsaid, tones, pauses, touches gentle or rough, welcomed or shunned, sex or lack of it, money or lack of it, gestures, expressions, a face turned toward or away.  Thousands and thousands of bonding or eroding moments.



I am now rereading the Greek poet, C.P. Cavafy and yesterday came across his, ‘Che Fece...Il Gran Rifuito’, which Google translates as ‘What he did...The Great Refusal’.  Apparently the title comes from a line in Dante’s INFERNO, alluding to the renunciation of the Papacy by Celestine V, who, five months after becoming pope in 1294, abdicated to live as a hermit.  Dante considered this cowardice and consigned him to Hell.

                For certain  people there comes a day
                when they are called upon to say the great Yes
                or the great No.  It’s clear at once who has
                the Yes ready within him; and saying it,

               he goes forward in honor, in greater self-belief.
               He who refuses has no second thoughts.  Asked
               again, he would still say no.  
               Yet that No—so right—defeats him all his life.





On Wednesday I set a new personal best for my standard workout:  17:21.  

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Evanston: Dying: First Annual Report


On a rainy morning I am sitting on the sofa in our spare bedroom.  A year ago two thousand miles to the southwest I was entering San Diego Harbor, ending my sixth circumnavigation and the second part of my life, which I have called ‘being’.  I glance up and see on the wall a drawing of me made by the French magazine, VOILES ET VOILIERS, more than forty years ago.  I don’t often notice it.  That is what I was.  Here is what I am.  Or at least was recently.



Same smile.  Same mustache.  Considerably less hair under the hat.

So what I have done in my first year of Dying, other than expend 366 days of my diminishing time?

I have written four magazine articles, given interviews, made one public appearance, refined the main site, added 178 journal entries, read forty-four books, listened to music, sailed less than 100 miles, made myself physically stronger, loved Carol, and have begun to consider the future and to make tentative plans.

This is not because I have become bored, as some have said I would, but that something innate within me is beginning to stir.  I think of Milton’s ‘And that one talent which is death to lodge with me useless’.  I am aware of the Biblical reference, but there are talents that demand expression.

I have observed that it often takes me a year to move on after a great loss or a difficult voyage.

If you went to the main site, on the list of quotes used at the beginning of my books you would find:


A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.
                                    --Grace Murray Hopper

My soul, your voyages have been your native land.
                                    from THE ODYSSEY: A Modern Sequel
                                    by Nikos Kazantsakis

Curtis probably never found out either [why Two Whistles, a Crow chief, had a crow on his head when Curtis photographed him] because after thirty-three years in the field taking photos of the Indians he went crazy and was placed in an asylum.  When they let him go he went down to Old Mexico and looked for gold, with a diffidence in recovery that characterized the behavior of many great men--let’s go to the edge and jump off again.
                                       from DAHLVA by Jim Harrison


(I) am, I believe, following the clear path of my fate.  Always to be pushing out like this, beyond what I know cannot be the limits--what else should a man’s life be?  Especially an old man who has, by a clear stroke of fortune, been violently freed of the comfortable securities that make old men happy to sink into blindness, deafness, the paralysis of all desire, feeling, will.  What else should our lives be but a continual series of beginnings, of painful settings out into the unknown, pushing off from the edges of consciousness into the mystery of what we have not yet become, except in dreams that blow in from out there bearing the fragrance of islands we have not sighted.
                          --from AN IMAGINARY LIFE by David Malouf


To which I would add a line from T.S. Eliot I have often quoted:  Old men ought to be explorers.  Why not?  We risk so much less than the young.

I chose those when I was relatively young.  Now that I am old, do I live them? 

In part it will depend on time and chance, as do all things, and in part how much suffering I can endure in my eighties.  GANNET brings joy, but she also brings discomfort.  There is the possibility that I will find lasting contentment in the waters and islands of the Low Country.  And there is what I call the Carol Complication, a complication I gladly accept.

My plans, such as they are, are inchoate and my commitment not absolute, as ultimately it must be.

The first step is clear.  Move GANNET from San Diego to Hilton Head.  I had expected to do so in June, but obviously that is not going to happen.  I hope it does before the end of the year.

Beyond exploring the local waters around Hilton Head—and the most enjoyable of the 7,000 miles I sailed last year were the first 10 on Skull Creek and Calibogue Sound—the open ocean calls as always and I am considering crossing the North Atlantic perhaps to Iceland and the UK.  My thoughts beyond that I will for now keep to myself, but I have embarked on voyages that interested me because I did not know if they were possible.  I have thought of another.

Again from the main site:


departure

                                        judge a man, then, by that
                                        against which he must strive
                                        against what
                                        if not this soft night
                                        and the wind and sea
                                        against the myth
                                        he must become
                                        and his own will

                                        the ocean waits
                                        to measure or to slay me
                                        the ocean waits
                                        and I will sail

                                                      1978

I sense, perhaps even know how the rest of my life should play out.  If time and chance do not intervene, I am curious to see how it does.